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Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Background Check


Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Give It a Whirl

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Filled to the Brim

Montgomery Home Listing Photo of the Day: Cedared Closet

The Woodlands Home Listing Photo of the Day: Hangin’ Low

Theresa Roemer Will Part with Her Opulent, Drama-Filled 3-Story Closet (and the Woodlands Mansion It Comes in) for $12.9 Million

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Listing her home caps a whirlwind 5 months for Theresa Roemer. Back in June, The Woodlands socialite threw open the doors to her 3-story, 3,000-sq.-ft., $500k “she-cave” to a blogger from Neiman-Marcus, a move that would eventually attract both scorn and “You go, girl!” sentiments from around the world. A burglar struck soon thereafter, and then attempted to blackmail her by threatening to tell the world that at least some of the haul of allegedly designer goods from her opulent trove were mere fakes, a threat the as-yet-unapprehended thief eventually carried out. Around the same time, Roemer sued her estranged stepson for defamation of character. That matter has since settled, but the upheaval isn’t over: Roemer is now selling her home in the Carlton Woods subdivision of The Woodlands. And when we say Roemer is selling her house, we mean just that: she is the listing agent for the 17,315 sq.-ft., 9-10 bedroom, 10 full and three half-bath, one 3-story closet manse at 47 Grand Regency Dr. The asking price: $12.9 million. You’ve seen the pics on teevee, Culturemap and on newspapers from around the world. Here are real-live listing pics, and not just of the closet, but the whole house! Here we are peering down the floating staircase towards a lower level of the closet, basking in the warm glow of a Swarovski crystal chandelier… “Glamor abounds” around the second-level wet bar in Roemer’s sanctum sanctorum. Roemer has said she has hosted many a fund-raiser in her closet. (Indeed, she has said that charity is the main reason it exists.) But it’s not all champers and canapes; the closet is eminently functional, warmly-lit and offering an abundance of storage space and a dressing station. The his closet is no slouch. Feast your eyes on that natural lighting! Tearing ourselves away from the she-cave, we approach the grand entryway, illuminated by a chandelier hand-made by Egyptian craftsmen: A waterwall soothes guests in the formal dining room, but alas, the lions do not convey: Uncork a selection from the wall o’ wine and rest easy in the tasting room: The family room with 20-foot ceilings and a huge window, warmed by a fireplace: A view of the hot tub and pool, tucked in among the tall pines The Woodlands is so famous for: Offer your guests a libation from the back-lit wet bar all you like, but you will have to provide your own portrait of yourself amid oil derricks and Bentleys: One of two islands in the kitchen archipelago… …and here we see them both: Hands off the candy! The capacious catering kitchen, capable of office conversion for those who might prefer more intimate dinner parties: The master suite, with its sweeping views of the grounds: Banana bushes offer organic privacy to the Italian marble shower, with dual rain heads and an assortment of additional jets: Lighted steps assure safe passage to this wet bar in a second-floor, balcony-accessible den: Light from the Egyptian chandelier dances off the silver-leafed, custom-built wrought-iron railing: A second-floor living room sporting ebonized hardwood floors and a view of the Egyptian chandelier: This second-floor aerie offers commanding views of the hot action on the links at the adjacent Jack Nicklaus Signature Carlton Woods golf course: Why so cirrus? Inhale the wonders of the nature-like surroundings on this balcony high above the pool: A touch of folksy downhome charm dwells in this secondary bedroom with balcony access: Guests can enjoy twin sinks and a walk-in closet in this bathroom: The spa is accessible via the elevator or one of the home’s 3 stairways: The double-leveled media room… Midnight snackers and/or tipplers need not toddle all the way to the kitchens downstairs. The third-floor snack bar comes with a mini-fridge, sink, microwave and abundant storage. A waterwall and fountains burble away around the lap-sized pool. The poolside veranda is lit by two chandeliers and a fireplace. The outdoor summer kitchen, with grill, wet bar and TV. All that, plus the closet that shocked the world!   47 Grand Regency Cir. [HAR] … Read More

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Composition No. 2 in Yellow Pine, Drywall, and Missing Cloth

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Alignment


A NSFW Musical Tour of Theresa Roemer’s Strip-Clubified 3-Story Closet Mansion, Starring Gucci and Gucci Mane

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The main star of Atlanta rapper Gucci Mane’s newly-released music video for the song Nonchalant is arguably the townhome-sized closet in Lamar and Theresa Roemer’s Woodlands mansion, still up for grabs since its 2014 listing. It’s the swankiest rap stripper video filmed in The Woodlands all year! The Roemers bought the home in 2013 and spent a couple million renovating it, including the addition of the 3-story closet-slash-wet-bar-slash-charity-party-venue. The closet was visited by a writer for Neiman Marcus’s blog in 2014, shortly after which a burglar stopped in — then attempted to blackmail Roemer into buying her own stuff back. Theresa Roemer listed the house herself at the end of 2014, after which it went on the market a few times (most recently for $7.95 million, down from an original asking price of $12.9 million). The place was supposed to be auctioned off last summer, but wasn’t; Platinum Luxury Auctions’s listing for the house does, however, imply that a new auction date might be set for this spring. Much of the new video is set within the closet, as well as in the connecting full bath with garden tub (which gets some PG-13- to R-rated action): The master bedroom also makes an appearance in the video, augmented by a stripper pole (not pictured in the current listing photos): The kitchen gets some screen time as well as the setting for some body sushi: Gucci Mane Is “Nonchalant” as He Cavorts in Theresa Roemer’s Closet in New Music Video [CultureMap] ‘Nonchalant’ Music Video [World Star Hip Hop] Suburban Sanctuary [Platinum Luxury Auctions] 47 Grand Regency Cir. [HAR] Previously on Swamplot: Theresa Roemer Will Part with Her Opulent, Drama-Filled 3-Story Closet (and the Woodlands Mansion It Comes in) for $12.9 Million Photos: HAR Video and stills: World Star Hip Hop … Read More

Bunker Hill Home Listing Photo of the Day: In Reserve

Bunker Hill Home Listing Photo of the Day: The Splits

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Between the Lines

The Woodlands Home Listing Photo of the Day: Nooked

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: The Shoe-In

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: On the Blues Side


Dickinson Home Listing Photo of the Day: The Closet Steps

Richmond Home Listing Photo of the Day: Four Cubed

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Hanging Out

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: The Hangers-On

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: The Men’s Department

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